Saturday, 30 March 2013

Talking to self…would that be expert advice?

It depends what you say…. 

Now it is time for me to follow the advice and encouragement I provide for clients…to show I can walk my talk. 

It has been a couple of weeks since I posted, the sudden death of my daughter…even though I was not her birth mother has rocked me. What a privilege as part of the process to deliver Kathy’s eulogy…I would say it was the most difficult presentation I have ever delivered. 

I am sharing part of that here now…

 Today, as I reflect, I can’t help but be overcome by the inner beauty Kathy had and the amazing impact she had on everyone whose life she touched. My feelings and emotions are raw, painful and come straight from my heart.

With any sudden death there comes that feeling of it being incredulous…
·    That can’t be true this is just a dream…you say!
       I will wake soon and it will be gone… you say!
      And…then you realise it is true… in fact it is reality!

Yet Kathy would not want us to be sad, her beautiful soul will always be there. She would want only the best for David, Stuart, Bec and was what she always wanted. Let’s not be sad because she has gone but be happy because she was here…

Who was Kath?… i invite you to come and share a snapshot with me!  The American author Sark says ‘Today we can all choose to spin a little silk and let it grease everything we touch’. Kath spun her threads of silk and  wove them throughout her fanfare, no limelight, the quiet achiever,  supporter and cheer squad…the one who lived and expressed unconditional love…yet she was so humble.

The common thread…whatever was happening Kathy was right in there helping. Her inherent kindness, sense of love and compassion was evident right from when I first met her when she was 13.

The greatest horror for me was going clothes shopping with Kath as a teenager…she was short of stature, that did not change…and boobs like you would not believe…. Very difficult to fit and buy for…there was me 6 foot tall (well almost), slim, a clothes peg… and if I were not talking… difficult to tell the front the from the back…that has not changed either…I was soo soo envious!!!!

She was…and remained… the apple of Les…her Dad’s eye. He was so proud of his daughter and the beautiful woman she became. They are now re-united in heaven…at peace and in no pain.

No, I did not have the privilege of knowing Kath when she was a toddler. I however had many moments of pleasure in the years after.  What challenges we had, what triumphs we shared, love, light and laughter…tears, spirited discussions, mishaps and all families.  Challenges ranging from the miniscule to the monumental!

And …that common thread… the silk thread was always Kathy’s warmth, love and compassion.

As the children grew up we spent many weekends having picnics at the beach with a little fishing thrown in. Les and the four kids were all keen on fishing. For me…I think fish is sensational when it’s on the plate, don’t bother me with the smelly details…Kath would be in there digging bait, handling the smelly stuff, catching, cleaning…leaving only the filleting to her Dad.

After leaving school Kathy started nursing at the Mackay Mater, and soon after Les and I moved to Wallaville…Kathy followed us and commenced work at the Bundaberg General, a year later we returned to Mackay minus Kath...she was ready to live her own life.

During that year we lived in Wallaville the movie the Exorcist was released. Les, I and another couple went, the same night Kath and her friends went…as a teenager she would NOT have been seen sitting with us…..very un-cool!

The ‘un-cool’ dissolved during the movie and she came to sit not ‘with’ but ‘between’ us. She did not go home with her friends either she came home with us! Meanwhile at home the boys were babysitting Peter, 2 years of age and he had been sick during the evening…

We lived in a typical old Queenslander on stumps with the laundry downstairs.  Neither Kath nor I were feeling brave…so she, armed with a torch and a hammer, guarded and watched over me while I did the washing… I am not sure what we expected to happen…but contrary to popular opinion we survived! And…I might add she slept on the floor of our room that night.

‘Bravery’ is probably taking liberty with the truth…if I were to use it as a description for our actions on that night…but we did it together!

She lived the life of most nurses and had a great life. Somewhere in there she even learned to play pool…and she got good at it! When the children were in their early teens, she took them on… and beat them…much to their surprise… amid howls of ‘where did you learn to play pool Mum?

Oops back to the story…And then she met David and that is his story to tell. However he does say that he saw Kathy at a party...and just knew he would marry her.  What an amazing couple they made and Les and I were so proud when they married in 1981.  

What a beautiful bride Kath was…what a magnificent woman and what a fabulous Mum she became. The photos and the power point slides bore testament to that …and as the family looked through photos over the past few days choosing our selection…there is scarcely one of Kathy without her demonstrating her love and protection of her children.

 How does it go????...behind every man is a ….wonder woman! Oops we are talking about David…What an amazing man, husband and Dad he is. His quiet strength, his ‘get on with it’ attitude to life , meet your challenges head on…his love and devotion for Kathy evident…she was his ‘best mate’ as well as his ‘cherished wife’.  

The children, my grandchildren are now growing into maturity, in relationships and creating their lives… all very different and special.  Kath was so proud of them.  How fabulous to see Bec, mature into a sensational modern woman…another beautiful soul yet so different to her Mum.

Kathy and David had something special, magical and lasting for 31 short years. At 30 years they had a re-commitment ceremony and to use Bec’s words ‘no couple could have been more in love, Mum was so happy’ and David’s words were ‘our relationship went to another level’.

Now are we talking and sharing about… St Kathy and St David here…I love them both dearly... but I do stop just short of sainthood!

A more down to earth, practical and loving couple as you would ever find. They too have had challenges ranging from the miniscule to the monumental…when a couple grow past their challenges, the relationship grows stronger… as Kath and David’s did…their faith and their family sustained and supported them along the way. In a nutshell…they walk their talk!

Kathy was not one for the limelight or fanfare, she was the quiet achiever…. 

When a woman steps into womanhood her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility is contagious…so full of integrity and joy …overflowing with love – Kath to a T. As a mature woman she held the light heartedness of youth and balanced that with a depth gained from her life’s challenges leading her to wisdom.

She entertained no negativity, her positive attitude and her encouragement to the children were an innate part of her. Kath lived those values throughout her life…she saw only the good, she was always supporting others and never did a days harm to anyone or anything. Flipping a negative to a positive was her forte and speciality!

The support shown from the community in a few days I have been here show the high regard in which Kath was held. I always knew she was special, her family knew she was special…her community is expressing that today.

Kath sustained me through many dark moments especially since her Dad went to heaven 10 years ago...she was there for me to … on so many levels. Last week Kathy and I spoke on the phone for two hours, about life, family, the future and everything in between. That conversation now holds a special place in my heart.             

Today we can all choose to spin a little silk and let it grease everything we touch…I invite you think for a moment about how Kath spun a silken thread as she touched your life. 

In celebrating your life Kath, I express my love for you… you were such a special person, an earth angel…she loved butterflies you know…a symbol of transformation…Kath you made such a difference and created transformation in your world, your family and me. 

Sometimes we don’t know what to say when someone is grieving…these words say it perfectly for me... 

As I step back into my life I to reflect on Sark’s words Today we can all choose to spin a little silk and let it grease everything we touch’. 

My strength is returning, my mind is clearing, and I am beginning to be able to concentrate…it is Ok to be vulnerable…I don’t need someone to fix me.

.  My ‘wise self talk’ or ‘expert advice’ for today…I can choose to spin a little silk and let it grease everything I touch.....and you may even like to borrow it …

 From my heart to your heart, whatever you are going though today…know there is always someone, somewhere who cares. Hugs, blessings and love the life you are living…and remember to tell your loved ones …that you love them! 

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Memories of a beautiful woman…. Kathy

Age is simply the number of years the world has enjoyed you….yet those years were not enough… Kathy honey…my heart is breaking tonight as I write and pour out feelings and emotions straight from my heart.

This morning my beautiful step daughter Kathy passed away suddenly in her mid 50’s, much too young to leave this earth. She had so much to offer, so much to give. With any sudden death there comes that feeling of it being incredulous…that can’t be true this is just a dream…you say, I will wake soon and it will be gone… you say! And…then you realise it is true, in fact it is reality!

I did not have the privilege of knowing Kathy when she was a toddler as in the image, I married her dad when she was 15 years of age in 1969. . Kathy and her three brothers lived with us, they were aged 10-16 and I was 24. What challenges we had, what triumphs we shared, love, light and laughter…tears, spirited discussions and mishaps just life I guess.  The challenges in a blended family can be monumental…as they are in a natural(is that the right word) family! 

 Just a thought... when I married in 1971 the term ‘blended family’ did not exist. I was the young wife,…the 2nd wife… the step mother…. The subject of much discussion in a small parochial sugar town in North Queensland, there I was all long hair,  long legs, and short skirts…well it was the fashion! It appeared I did not fit the society mould of a ‘step mother’.  

Ahh I digressed…What I did have was the privilege of seeing Kathy grow and mature into the most incredible woman. She was one of those beautiful people who see only the good, who was always supporting others and never did a days harm to anyone or anything.

Kathy married and had a wonderful life with my son in law and they have three children. How fabulous to see Bec, my granddaughter mature into a sensational modern woman…another beautiful soul yet so different to her Mum. 

 Today I also moved toward healing a rift in another arm of the family as I shared the news about Kathy…how often do we let things...silly things… stand in our way. Why is it that it can take a tragedy for us to realise the fragility of human life.

Yet Kathy would not want us to be sad, her beautiful soul will always be there, words I used to try and ease Bec’s raw pain this morning.

How thrilled I am that last week Kathy and I spoke on the phone for two hours, about life, family, the future and everything in between. That conversation now holds a special place in my heart.

There may be others reading this who are going through something similar, or experiencing pain in another way. Women have this amazing ability to connect, to share and support each other. How very fortunate I am to have that support network of friends...and guess what they are not all women…I have some awesome male friends to…and they were here today along with the girls!

From my heart to your heart, whatever you are going though today…know there is always someone, somewhere who cares. Hugs, blessings and love the life you are living…and remember to tell you loved ones …that you love them!  

Monday, 11 March 2013

They were …. who?

Today I am having my little ‘tanti’ …bear with me! To me the essence of performing (on or off stage) is to connect and communicate!

Last Saturday night I attended an ‘Abba tribute’ at a local RSL club.
Ok it was the RSL; yes it was free…yes there was alcohol!

I have been to a free event at an RSL before where there was alcohol and it was terrific and I enjoyed it! I did NOT enjoy last Saturday night. That got me thinking why!

I enjoy Abba music; I was expecting to be entertained and to enjoy the night. I did not set out with the ‘let’s see what they can do’ and ‘let’s pick them to pieces’ attitude. I was expecting light, bright and fun loving!

Knocking someone who is ‘having a go’ is not what I do, being supportive comes more naturally to me…yet this niggled at me!

Here is an Abba video clip…you may be a fan also.   

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Ordinary Women Extraordinary Lives

I hear so many women say I am just…a housewife, just a salesperson, I have not done anything out of the ordinary. Women are amazing, fabulous, unique creatures!

Do you as a woman recognise and acknowledge yourself?

Do you realise your worth? 

International Women’s day - My thoughts are roaming to women all over the world this morning.  Do we realise how lucky we are to live in Australia with all it has to offer? I am so grateful for the life I lead…are you? Have you expressed that gratitude recently? Maybe the today is the day……

A page from Women’s Interests  Western Australia sums it up International Women’s day succinctly” International Women’s Day is traditionally a day women of the world unite to celebrate achievements and protest injustices.  It is celebrated globally each year and provides an opportunity for the community to recognise the achievements of women and to highlight their economic, political and social contributions.  It is also a day to reflect on the work that is still to be done to achieve equality for women.  Since 1977, this annual event has been observed on 8 March. 

The origins of International Women’s Day stretch back to the early twentieth century and the activities of labour movements in North America and across Europe.  In 1911, more than one million women and men attended rallies for what is recognised as the first International Women’s Day. In addition to the right to vote and hold public office, they demanded women’s right to work and an end to discrimination.  

The first International Women’s Day rally in Australia took place in the Sydney Domain on 25 March 1928.  Women demonstrated to demand equal pay for equal work, an eight hour day for shop girls, no piece work, and a basic wage for the unemployed and annual holidays on full pay.
What sparked my interest this particular morning? Well…I recently came across a site called ‘Journeywoman’ The premier Travel Resource for Women. 

The post is titled A Tapestry of Images to celebrate International Women’s Day 2013. Isn’t a tapestry of images a fabulous title? I invite you to take a peek and I am sure you will enjoy it as I did.

It also got me thinking a few years back I was involved in a Trust Bank for women in villages in Bali. I have the article that was published somewhere…and guess what…it is NOT to be found this morning…the ‘article thief’ has struck again…

Under the umbrella of Opportunity international, who by the way have a wonderful coffee table about women titled ‘Ordinary Women Extraordinary Lives’, another great title…oops now where was I… oohhh yes…the trust bank!

Yes, under Opportunity International a local charity Dinari was providing loans to women in villages in Bali. They have a 96% success rate on loan repayments. How good is that? The delight as I was privileged to see some results brought tears to me eyes…

Which brings me back to how lucky are we…to live in Australia!

Extraordinary Women Extraordinary Lives…do we realise our worth?

we can all make a difference…what is your choice? I would love to hear.

Monday, 4 March 2013

Every Girl Deserves To Be Heard


“In fully accepting your creative power, you honour and respect your soul and remind others to do the same.” ~Sonia Choquette

Are we being heard…or more importantly is what we say worthy of us? do you see yourself?

Confidence, creative drive, empowerment and advocacy clearly shine through the souls of many women. I fear we are seeing a decline in these attributes today. As mature women we have amazing strength and wisdom and as I speak out and share I hope it may encourage you to do the same. 

I urge you to embrace all your wonderful qualities and be a role model. Women can be fabulous at nurturing each other...join with me, mobilise all your senses, yes your confident sensual and powerful self to ensure girls and women are not only heard but are worth hearing.


We have lived our lives yet still have so much to give. We can be brave, confident, socially conscious advocates. Take a moment and reflect on your own life and journey. And further I urge you to be a positive influence on the young women in our family and our community. 

What a challenge… take a moment and think about how you can creatively make your difference…Go on I know you want to!  Hey…not yet…don’t leave I haven’t finished!!!!

Your respect and personal integrity shines and is reflected by how you live your life and the quote says it beautifully. “In fully accepting your creative power, you honour and respect your soul and remind others to do the same.” By Sonia Choquette

 The key is in respecting ourselves and reminding others to do the same. A few posts back I was speaking about love not porn, here is the link if you would like to pop back. 

I was talking about today’s dating world. When we as women set our boundaries and are clear on what we will and will not accept… we open the door to be respected in return. If not then we need to have the courage and confidence to walk away…
From my observation and reading…I am asking - has porn become the new sex education? Have younger men taken this on board and think it is the way to make love and have a relationship? Are women being conditioned to think this is what is expected? Are women thinking I have to do this to have a relationship? That this thinking is happening…and it horrifies me.

I had an interesting conversation with a young lady in her 30’s recently and we were discussing relationships. I was speaking about men in their 40’s contacting me and many of their conversations are crude and disrespectful. Having a sexual conquest seems to be aim number one! And…I sadly add I have also experienced that in mature men.
Now before someone gets all excited and upset with me… this is not an anti-men post. I have many wonderful men friends of all ages, and I have met many terrific guys on the dating sites. My concern is that they becoming the minority. 

After listening to me…she shared that in her experience men in their 30’s, her experience was similar to mine. However the interesting thing was she said that guys in their 20’s were feeling disempowered (her word) and disrespected because of the attitude and behaviour of young women.  

That alarms me even more…are young women lacking that honour and respect for themselves and projecting it outwardly…are they too caught up in ‘porn must be the way to do it!’ 


As mature women we have wisdom, a sense of openness and the ability to make a difference in the lives of the men and women of all ages who are in our lives. 

 Noooooooooooooo I don’t mean getting a drum and beating a war cry from here to eternity! I am suggesting that quietly, confidently and powerfully convey your love and thoughts, impart your wisdom in wondrous ways. 

Noooooooooooooo I don’t mean the nag technique… we know that did not work…we didn’t like it did we?

Noooooooooooooo and I don’t mean  the ‘it was blah, blah blah’ in my day…we know that did not work either …and we liked that even less.

There are so many people out there hurting, I am thinking bring back ‘active listening’, the world is full of talkers and we are bombarded from the media continually. Take the time to sit for a coffee and chat…listen and communicate. I find when you connect in this way and you are open, it creates an opening for others to be open with you…and they do!

Share stories ….not grim reaper types, experiences…and more the positive that came from an experience rather than the drama. Demonstrate how you respect yourself and them in a myriad of ways. And remember your actions will speak loudest!

I have spent considerable time thinking and reading about mature confident and sensual women. What is striking me is that many of them have been advocates of respect, what I am finding is they to have been and still are advocates for respect for women with each doing it her special way. More on those thoughts on another post!


What an advocate we can be…our souls will love us for it…so will those in whose lives we make a difference. Yes…every girl needs to be heard.

Friday, 1 March 2013

My license to skill…what a privilege!


Hello gorgeous women…To-day I am sharing a little of what I do beyond blogging!  I know you thought I just loved writing…and I do, I do, I do…yet there is more…indulge me if you will!

Yes…what a privilege… and how I love seeing the difference in a client. She has a spring back in her step and she is facing her world with joy. Often her sensual self slips out and I am thrilled knowing I was a part of her journey as I exercised my license to skill…as a Confidence Coach. 


Gwendolyn has given me permission to share part of her journey. I meet many women 50+ in similar circumstances, it is a common thread. She knows I write this blog, she reads it and it was through reading it that she discovered me!

It was an amazing co-incidence as so often happens in life that in connecting she became a client. Perhaps you too are curious, perhaps you might see parts of her reflected in you…or perhaps you have a friend who is going through a similar experience to Gwendolyn.

Tell me in a sentence Di, what do you do? As a coach I work with women 50+ or almost there to restore or develop a feminine, authentic and confident life…so they feel complete, vibrant and alive.  


Mature women are amazing to work with; they have had all sorts of exciting things happen to them. Interestingly they have had amazing successes; they have achieved in society, in their profession maybe owned a business, maybe been a sensational employee, raised a family and had successful relationships.

They have all had either glorious adventures or have fabulously failed somewhere.

However, one or several and usually the latter, life changing events can suddenly  leave her feeling disconnected as all those things that were once her successes, suddenly become her nemesis. She who has been amazing all her life can flounder and hesitate…at worst hide from finding her place in a new world usually but not always as a single woman. She finds herself in a new and unfamiliar role where she needs to integrate back into society.  This can be seriously scary for her. 

 How does it work? By implementing positive confidence coaching sessions packed with processes and strategies that will serve her long term. When this challenge goes away…guess what…another comes along, life is not static it is a living breathing journey.  As we grow…guess what… we just get a better class of challenge…that is that value of having a strategy as part of your plan. 

We do away with the confidence zappers…you know the sort I mean…10 minutes with them and you feel like slashing your wrists would be a great option…oops I got sidetracked. And all delivered with a healthy dose of humour and pleasurable activities. 


Gwendolyn presented on her first session with the ‘eekkkkkkkkkk what have I let myself in’ look. It can be really scary sharing your life and challenges, yet she says it’s time...time for me!  She settled and excitedly chose the ‘Coco Experience’ as her coaching package. 


In brief, a coach does not tell you what to do! It is a coach’s role to listen, create a plan with you then offer processes and exercises that support you through that journey.

To also hold you accountable for what you say you want. Not to make your decisions for you...yet to support  you, becoming playful at times, tough at times and gentle at times. To celebrate your successes and say ‘fantastic’ when a challenge arises, because it gives you the perfect opportunity to practice your new skills in a safe and supportive atmosphere.

Back to Gwendolyn, her 36 year marriage had just ended and it was not an amicable split. She was left feeling hurt, angry, unappreciated, unloved and undesirable and facing the need to create extra income.

Her children are grown and independent, her identify was becoming blurred,  no longer needed as a wife, mother or a homemaker…her usual confident and happy self went underground. She felt overwhelmed was plagued by doubt, her self worth and self confidence took a nose dive and she doubted her ability to build a new life.

Into her 5th session she is consistently working on her strategies and plan, taking care of herself, her whole demeanour has changed and she is seeing positive changes happening around her. Gwendolyn is looking her new life directly in the eye. Has it been without challenge…noooooooooooooo, learning to step beyond them is allowing her confidence to rise.  

As she left today, she turned and smiled saying ‘what else is possible?

Gwendolyn has broken free of her limiting beliefs. She is enjoying and reflecting her confidence and inner strength and yes, I see peeps of her sensuality shining through. Her natural and gracious self is shining. 


For Di, I am a mature, modern thinking woman who has lived; loved, lost and regained…my gift is my ability to simply and graciously help mature women when they say… ‘Its time… its time for me…to guide them to restore their confidence, strength and vitality. I am in gratitude for my license to skill! 


Coco Chanel said ‘You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life.’ 

If you or another gorgeous 50+ or nearly there woman who you know is feeling less than irresistible then maybe the ‘Coco Experience’ is an option. If you would like to enquire email 

If you and your friends are bursting with confidence in their sensual selves then that is awesome! I urge you to share your gift with others. Whatever being confident, sensual and full of life means to you...

Enjoy your day and rejoice in your amazing and exquisite journey as a mature woman…paint the ceiling beige…no way…let your confident and sensual self shine…you are truly amazing!